Pad with 100 pages
This survey pad is great to starting a conversation with someone. It goes through some trivia and then segue into the gospel.
In stock
Pad with 100 pages
This survey pad is great to starting a conversation with someone. It goes through some trivia and then segue into the gospel.
$9.99
In stock
Pad with 100 pages
This survey pad is great to starting a conversation with someone. It goes through some trivia and then segue into the gospel.
Weight | 0.212 kg |
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Dimensions | 21 × 13 × 1 cm |
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Place your thumb firmly on the box for 15 seconds. If you are a “good” person, it will turn a bright green. Note: it must be for exactly 15 seconds.
The back reads:
Sorry . . . you’re just like the rest of us. The dictionary says “good” is to be “morally excellent.” Let’s check the standard–the Ten Commandments, to see how far we fall short: Is God first in your life? Do you love Him with “heart, mind, soul and strength?” Have you made a god to suit yourself? Have you used God’s name in vain? Have you kept the Sabbath holy? Have you always honored your parents? Have you hated anyone, and therefore committed murder in your heart? Have you looked with lust and therefore committed adultery in your heart? Have you lied (including “fibs”), stolen (the value is irrelevant), or coveted other people’s possessions? If you are honest, you know you will be guilty on the Day of Judgment. God, however, doesn’t want to send you to Hell. Jesus Christ suffered and died on the Cross in your place, so you could go free. That’s how much God loves you. We broke God’s Law, but Jesus paid our fine. Then He rose from the grave and defeated death. If you repent and trust in Him, God will forgive your sins and grant you everlasting life. Obey the gospel today. Read your Bible daily and obey what you read, God will never let you down.
TEXT:
Of all the questions you will ask yourself in life, the most important is, Am I good enough to go to Heaven? The answer to that question will have eternal consequences. The way to find out is to ask yourself if you have obeyed God’s standard of goodness, the Ten Commandments. Most would say, “Well, I’ve broken one or two, but nothing too serious, like murder, etc.” So, let’s go through them and see how you do:
(pack of 100)
101 of the World’s Funniest One Liners
In the centre of the flyer is a Christian gospel message.
1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist — they don’t expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.
20. Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
21. Nuke the Whales.
22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30. You can’t have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Editorial: Probably the most thought-provoking one-liner is “Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.” It’s sad but true — no matter what you do, you will die. This is because you have sinned against God. Let’s see if that’s true: Have you ever lied (even once)? Ever stolen (anything)? Jesus said, “Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already with her in his heart.” Ever looked with lust? If you have said “Yes” to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we’ve only looked at three of the Ten Commandments. How will you do on Judgment Day? Will you be innocent or guilty? You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell. That’s not God’s will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: “God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death. God promises everlasting life to all those who confess and forsake their sins, and trust in Jesus Christ. Please do that today . . . you may not have tomorrow. See John 14:21 for a wonderful promise. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. God will never let you down.
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
35. Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
36. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
37. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39. My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42. I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
46. Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
48. National Atheist’s Day April 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
51. Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
52. If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
53. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
54. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
55. I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
56. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you’re there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
60. It’s been Monday all week.
61. Gravity always gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation.
64. They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.
65. It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don’t remember.
67. The word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
69. The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like, night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!
76. Gravity: It’s not just a good idea, it’s the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic — ten out of ten die.
79. Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
81. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
82. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
83. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
84. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
85. If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
86. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
87. Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
88. I intend to live forever. So far so good.
89. Who is “General Failure” and why is he reading my hard disk?
90. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
91. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
92. Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
93. I didn’t use to finish sentences, but now I
94. I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.
95. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
96. Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”
97. Evolution: True science fiction.
98. What’s another word for “thesaurus”?
99. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
100. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
101. I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
. . . Don’t forget to read the editorial!
BUY IN BULK TO SAVE ON SHIPPING
100 Per Pack (i.e. 100 Red & 100 Blue)
These curved illusions have a Christian gospel message on the back.
When you hold these cards side-by-side one card always looks bigger than the other. Then when you swap them around the other card looks bigger.
It’s a great way to engage people in conversation. One the back of the cards is a simple message that explains the gospel message.
MESSAGE ON BACK OF CARDS
CARD ONE: Hold both cards curving toward the right. Which is bigger, red or the blue? Both are the same. Our eyes are often fooled by optical illusions. Speaking of eyes — Would you sell an eye for $1 million? How about both for $20 million? No one in his right mind would. Your eyes are priceless, yet they are merely the windows of your soul. Jesus said that your eyes are worth nothing compared to the value of your soul: “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire” (Mark 9:47). He asked, “What will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matt. 16:26). There is nothing as important as your salvation. So, do you think you will go to Heaven when you die?
CARD TWO: Check yourself by going through the Ten Commandments: How many lies have you told in your life? Have you ever stolen (the value is irrelevant), committed adultery (Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” – Matt. 5:28), or murdered someone (God considers hatred to be murder – 1 John 3:15)? Have you loved God above all else? Be honest. You know you will be guilty on Judgment Day, and therefore end up in Hell. But Jesus showed how much God loves us by dying on the cross to take our punishment, and then rising from the dead. Today, repent (confess and turn from your sin) and trust in Jesus Christ. Then read the Bible daily, and obey it. God will never fail you.
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